Kashmakash – Qa’ar – Urooj

The premise: You wake up to find yourself at the mercy of a raging ocean under thundering skies, with nothing to hold on to and no land in sight.

Stage 1: (0:00 to 1:33) Kashmakash (“The tussle”)
You are battling for your life and fast losing hope. Your heart is racing and with every passing second, it gets harder to breathe and stay afloat.

Stage 2: (1:34 to 2:30) Qa’ar (“The abyss”)
You have been overpowered and sucked underwater. You give in – not to fear, not anymore, but to the inevitability. Having tried everything you could, you now seek an end to your suffering. As your throat closes up, you close your eyes and spread your arms, embracing nothingness. In your final moments, as the ocean has completely consumed you, you can feel your life force fading. The burden of your existence has now left you, and you are now beyond form.

Stage 3: (2:31 to 5:34) Urooj (“The ascension”)
The storm has moved on, the ocean is now calm, and having completely shed the weight of your existence, you are now lighter than air and start floating to the top. You rise up and above the ocean that dragged you down and smile at the reflection of your new being. Born again. Uncorrupted. Free. There is a fire in you now, nothing has power on you anymore.

“Jawani ki andheri raat hai, zulmat ka toofa.n hai
Meri raaho.n se noor-e-maah-o-anjum tak gureza.n hai
Khuda soya hua hai, ahrman mehshar ba-daama.n hai
Magar mai.n apni manzil ki taraf badhta hi jaata hoo.n” – Asrar-Ul-Haq Majaz

(A great dark, stormy night is upon my youth,
the darkness of which has blackened the light from the moon,
the darkness of which is beyond even God’s reach.
Yet, with my destination in sight, I surge forward.)

Coming from a deeply personal place, “Kashmakash-Qa’ar-Urooj” (tussle-abyss-rise) is a three-part symbolic representation of how sometimes your fears and troubles can only be conquered by letting yourself drown in them. Having tussled to the best of your capacity, sometimes you have to let them hit you and take you down. When something weighs you down and refuses to go away for longer periods of time, and you start realising that you have to wake up everyday and fight back only for this cycle to repeat itself the following day, it can put your mind in such a blur that it does not let you think about a possibility of something beyond this situation. The fact that the effect of anything can be reduced over time and eventually conquered is the key to this lock. But you must decide whether you want this to permanently go away at a certain cost, or you’re fine with carrying it on your shoulder for the rest of your life.

Depending on the situation and your individual capacity to “deal with it”, see if you can pose this question to your mind – “What if I face this now? I’ve tried everything I could, right? Let’s give this a shot then, I’m ready. Let’s do nothing else but cope.”

Let the storm blow you away, and throw you into the deepest part of the ocean.

This right here is the opposite of giving up – this is giving a go to the possibilities beyond what you are facing now. Let no one tell you otherwise.

Whatever it is, it will take its time, sure, but the weight slowly but steadily drops. It’s inevitable. Like a force of nature.

You won’t realize it for a while and that will change you, but may be that’s an inevitability for inner growth and fulfillment as a being. Once the weight has completely left you, just as physics tells you, you will rise back to the top and float – lighter than air.

You ascend – changed as you may be, but most importantly, you are now in control. You decide what happens now.

There’s a fire in your belly – now the storm is you.